How Do I Handle Being Around a Narcissist?

Being around someone with narcissistic traits can leave you feeling confused, emotionally drained, and like you’re always walking on eggshells. Whether it’s a parent, partner, coworker, or someone else in your life—you might wonder, how do I protect my peace while still having to be around them?

Let’s start with this: It’s not your fault.
And no—you’re not overreacting.

Narcissistic behaviors often involve manipulation, gaslighting, and a deep lack of empathy. These patterns can trigger old wounds, especially if you grew up in a home where love felt conditional. So how do you stay grounded and safe around someone who constantly tests your boundaries?

Here are a few trauma-informed reminders:

1. You don’t need to convince them of your worth

People with narcissistic traits often twist reality, minimize your feelings, or turn the conversation back to themselves. You might find yourself over-explaining or trying to prove your good intentions.

You don’t have to engage.
You don’t need to win the argument or be understood. Your value isn’t up for debate.

2. Limit emotional exposure

You may not be able to cut contact—but you can reduce emotional vulnerability. That means sharing less of what’s most tender. Try not to seek comfort, approval, or support from someone who repeatedly shows you they can’t offer it.

3. Stick to “grey rock” when needed

If you’re dealing with someone who feeds off emotional reactions, using the “grey rock” technique—being neutral, brief, and nonreactive—can help diffuse their attempts to provoke.

This isn’t about being cold. It’s about protecting your energy.

4. Anchor to reality

Gaslighting can leave you doubting your own experience. Journaling, speaking with a trusted friend, or working with a therapist can help you stay grounded in your truth—not their version of it.

5. You’re allowed to set boundaries—even if they don’t like them

You may be met with pushback, guilt-tripping, or even rage. This is often a sign that the boundary is working.
Stay firm. Boundaries aren’t meant to make others comfortable—they’re meant to keep you safe.

6. Have an exit strategy

If you know you’ll be around a narcissist (like at a family event), make a plan in advance. Drive yourself. Have someone you can text for support. Decide how long you’ll stay and what topics are off-limits.

Your preparation is not over-cautious. It’s self-protection.

7. Healing doesn’t mean you have to stay

Sometimes we confuse “healing” with being endlessly tolerant. But healing also looks like walking away when someone continues to harm you.

If the relationship is causing ongoing emotional harm, it’s okay to re-evaluate whether closeness is possible—or healthy.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Being around a narcissist can activate old trauma, make you question yourself, and drain your nervous system. You deserve support. Therapy can help you untangle the manipulation, rebuild your self-trust, and create space for relationships that feel safe and mutual.

If you’re navigating this and need a space to process and heal, I’d be honored to walk with you.

—
Michelle Nosrati, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker | EMDR Therapist | Los Angeles, CA

Offering trauma therapy across California & Nevada
Specializing in EMDR, Complex PTSD, and relational trauma