Healing Through Play: How Polyvagal Theory Explains the Power of Safety and Connection
When we think of play, it often brings to mind children on a playground—laughing, running, inventing games. But play is far more than entertainment. From a polyvagal perspective, play is a biological pathway to safety, connection, and healing.
The Polyvagal Lens on Play
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how our nervous system constantly scans the world for cues of safety and danger (a process called neuroception). When we feel safe, our ventral vagal system allows us to connect, rest, and co-regulate with others. When we sense threat, our body shifts into fight, flight, or shutdown to protect us.
Here’s why play is so remarkable:
Play blends mobilization (the energy of running, wrestling, or laughing hard) with connection (eye contact, shared laughter, trust in the rules of the game).
The nervous system learns: “I can be active, loud, and energized—without being in danger.”
This pairing of energy + safety helps regulate the nervous system and widens our “window of tolerance.”
In other words, play teaches the body that aliveness and connection can exist together—a profound corrective experience for anyone whose past linked energy with danger.
How Children Heal Through Play
For children, play isn’t optional—it’s their primary language for learning safety, connection, and emotional regulation. Through play, children practice:
Emotional regulation: Games like tag or hide-and-seek create excitement, but also teach the nervous system how to come back down to calm.
Boundaries and repair: Sharing toys, taking turns, or working through small conflicts during play helps kids feel secure while navigating relationships.
Safety in connection: Laughter, imaginative role-play, and cooperative games help children experience joy with others, reinforcing that relationships can feel safe.
This is why play therapy is so powerful—it meets children in the nervous system state where growth and healing naturally occur.
Why Adults Still Need Play
As adults, we often lose touch with play. Responsibilities and stress crowd out curiosity, laughter, and lightheartedness. But our nervous systems still long for it. Play is one of the most accessible ways to return to a ventral vagal state—the place where we feel safe, socially connected, and able to be flexible.
For adults, play might look like:
Dancing, moving, or playing a sport.
Joking around with friends.
Creating art or music without pressure.
Trying something new just for fun—not achievement.
Each time we enter playful states, we remind our nervous system: “I can be engaged with energy and still safe in connection with others.”
Play as a Pathway to Safety
In trauma, safety often feels elusive. Our bodies may associate energy with danger, or connection with risk. Play gently rewires this by providing repeated experiences of safety in action and relationship. From a polyvagal lens, that’s what healing truly is: creating new nervous system patterns where connection feels possible and aliveness doesn’t equal threat.
Bringing More Play Into Healing
Start small: Notice everyday opportunities for laughter, silliness, or curiosity.
Engage with others: Safe, playful connection with trusted people deepens regulation.
Move your body: Physical play—whether it’s dancing, tossing a ball, or yoga with a playful twist—teaches safety in motion.
Give yourself permission: Play isn’t a luxury; it’s medicine for the nervous system.
Curious whether EMDR is the right next step for your healing journey?
I offer virtual EMDR therapy to adults throughout California and Nevada, with a focus on trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and lasting change.
📍 Learn more or schedule a consultation at: www.MyEMDRLA.com
Michelle Nosrati, LCSW
Trauma Specialist | EMDR Therapist
Licensed in California & Nevada
Secure Telehealth Services Available
www.MyEMDRLA.com