Why Do I Compare Myself to Others on Social Media?
Do you ever find yourself scrolling through social media and suddenly feeling “less than”? Maybe someone your age just bought a house, landed a promotion, or is vacationing in a place you’ve always dreamed of visiting. And before you know it, a wave of self-doubt or shame sneaks in — along with the thought: “I’m behind.”
You’re not alone!
The Highlight Reel Effect
Social media shows us carefully curated “highlight reels” of people’s lives, not the full story. What you see on your screen is a snapshot: the best lighting, the most flattering angle, the polished version of someone’s life that they want others to see.
What you don’t see are the everyday struggles, the arguments, the loneliness, or the moments of doubt that make up every human experience. When you’re already in a tender place, those scrolls can amplify feelings of inadequacy, leaving you questioning your worth or path.
Why We Compare
Comparison is part of being human. From an evolutionary perspective, our brains are wired to scan for how we measure up within our community. For many, especially those who grew up in environments where love or safety felt conditional, comparison can feel like survival. It becomes a way of checking: Am I good enough? Am I safe? Do I belong?
The problem is, when we use social media as the mirror, the reflection is distorted. It tricks the nervous system into believing everyone else is thriving while you’re stuck.
How to Shift Out of Comparison
Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never compare again. But it does mean you can catch yourself when it happens and choose a gentler response. Here are a few practices that help:
Pause before you scroll. Notice your mood. If you’re already feeling vulnerable, ask yourself if opening the app will actually help or if you need something else (like a walk, deep breath, or reaching out to a friend).
Curate your feed. It’s okay to mute or unfollow accounts that trigger self-judgment. Protecting your mental health online is just as important as it is offline. Instead, follow voices and communities that feel supportive, inspiring, or grounding.
Reality check. Remind yourself: what you’re seeing is not the whole truth. Just as you wouldn’t assume someone’s entire life story from a single photo album, don’t mistake a post for the whole picture.
Shift inward. When comparison shows up, ask yourself: “What do I actually want right now?” rather than “How do I measure up?” That shift brings the focus back to your own values, desires, and healing journey.
A Kinder Path Forward
Comparison is a human reflex. When you learn to see social media for what it is — a highlight reel, not the full movie — you give yourself permission to be exactly where you are, without shame.
And remember: the victory isn’t in never comparing again. The victory is in being gentle with yourself when you notice comparison creeping in. Every small step you take toward staying on your path is a victory worth celebrating.
Curious whether EMDR is the right next step for your healing journey?
I offer virtual EMDR therapy to adults throughout California and Nevada, with a focus on trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and lasting change.
Learn more or schedule a consultation at: www.MyEMDRLA.com
Michelle Nosrati, LCSW
Trauma Specialist | EMDR Therapist
Licensed in California & Nevada
Secure Telehealth Services Available
www.MyEMDRLA.com